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January 22, 2008 by Betsy Bird

Unarchived Golden Fuse: The Lost Categories

January 22, 2008 by Betsy Bird   5 comments

If my blog were a reflection of my mind or my housekeeping then every time you clicked on it you’d find a pile of rubbish with some sparkly candy wrappers sticking out of the teaming mass.  Now every year I do my Golden Fuse Awards, which are a collection of fun trends and oddities I find in that year’s selection of children’s literature.  This year I was suprised by how short my list was, but nothing seemed particularly out of place.  Then, about two days ago, I stumbled upon one of my old files which had a SLEW of hitherto forgotten Golden Fuse trends and observations.  Here then, is an addendum to the 2007 Golden Fuse Awards.  Call it the Forgotten Edition.

Odd Trends

Scientifically minded boy suddenly appears just in time to befriend our heroine: 
Where I Live by Eileen Spinelli and Reaching for Sun by Tracie Zimmer.

Dads wait until Halloween when they’ll get a chance to douse naughty tricksters with big buckets of water:  Diary of a Wimpy Kid and On the Wings of Heroes by Richard Peck.

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Tooth Fairies
The Seems: The Glitch in Sleep by John Hulme and Michael Wexler.
What-the-Dickens by Gregory Maguire.

Farting pigs
Starcross by Philip Reeve and Muddle Earth by Paul Stewart

Most Tragic Cover of the Year
No Castles Here by A.C.E. Bauer.  It’s not fair.  It’s a cool image, but you can’t tell that it’s a work of grafitti in a photograph.  The image is by Danny “casroc” Casu.

Best Wordless Picture Book
Bow-Wow Bugs a Bug by Mark Newgaarden and Megan Montague Cash

Best Name of a Villain
Thibadeau Freck from The Seems: The Glitch in Sleep

Gay Stereotypes
And you thought none of the children’s books in 2007 had any?  Allow me to direct your attention to Quentin, the evil pastry chef in Paul Stewart’s, Muddle Earth.  There are 2-3 times in the book when the story clearly says that this character “lisps”.

Books That Would Make Good Movies
Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy
The True Meaning of Smekday by Adam Rex

Lessons Not Learned: Covers
The Snows by Sharelle Byars Moranville never quite learned that The Mailbox by Audrey Shafer may have suffered obscurity because of the inanimate object on the cover.

Adult or YA Books Recommended By Children’s Books

The Turn of the Screw by Henry James – Recommended by Atherton: The House of Power by Patrick Carman
I Am the Cheese by Robert Cormier – Recommended by The Seems: The Glitch in Sleep by John Hulme and Michael Wexler

Gay Characters in Kidlit
No Castles Here by A.C.E. Bauer
The Name of This Book is Secret by Pseudonymous Boch – At least that’s how I interpreted the two men who worked in the antique store.

Books That Skip Chapter 13
The Name of This Book is Secret by Pseudonymous Boch
The Seems: The Glitch in Sleep by John Hulme and Michael Wexler

Books That Discuss the Egyption God Thoth
The Name of This Book is Secret by Pseudonymous Bosh
The Book of Time by Guillaume Prevost

Vowel Happy Aliens
The Moob from Starcross by Philip Reeve
The Boov from The True Meaning of Smekday by Adam Rex

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McDonald’s Referenced Repeatedly
Ferret Island by Richard W. Jennings
The Name of this Book is Secret by Pseudonymous Boch

Prophecies:
(I had hoped to collect all the prophecies I read in 2007, but I missed a couple.  These are the ones that got through, though).


From Elissa’s Quest by Erica Verrillo –
“The birds will talk, and the earth will churn.  The trees will walk, and the world will burn.”


From The Book of Lies by James Moloney –

“When lords and ladies quest for fame
A Beast will touch the land with flame
Good men will die, their wives will mourn
While children weep for fathers gone
With swords for teeth and skin of steel
With arrowed claw and poisoned heel
The Beast will grow and spread its wings
Destroying rogues and making kings
When all my pages fill with lies
Let slip the Beast and see it rise
Till one who understands this verse
Commands the Beast and breaks its curse.”


From Snowbone by Cat Weatherill –

“When winter waves throw the king from the sea
The queen still dreams of ascendancy
And the king upon the gilded throne
Laments what never shall be known
When the sea turns red and the rivers rise
And the storm bird o’er the summit flies
The King of the Sea shall leave this land
And carry death within his hand.”


Good First Lines

“This is lame but I’m actually looking forward to school this year, because every day this summer was like crap: dog crap, cat crap – I even had a few elephant crap days.  Trust me, it was bad.” – If a Tree Falls at Lunch Period by Gennnifer Choldenko.

“Augie Boretski snuck out.” – No Castles Here by A.C.E. Bauer

“Dave Packer was in the middle of his fourth hour of not talking.” – No Talking by Andrew Clements.

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About Betsy Bird

Betsy Bird is currently the Collection Development Manager of the Evanston Public Library system and a former Materials Specialist for New York Public Library. She has served on Newbery, written for Horn Book, and has done other lovely little things that she'd love to tell you about but that she's sure you'd find more interesting to hear of in person. Her opinions are her own and do not reflect those of EPL, SLJ, or any of the other acronyms you might be able to name. Follow her on Twitter: @fuseeight.

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About Betsy Bird

Betsy Bird is currently the Collection Development Manager of the Evanston Public Library system and a former Materials Specialist for New York Public Library. She has served on Newbery, written for Horn Book, and has done other lovely little things that she'd love to tell you about but that she's sure you'd find more interesting to hear of in person. Her opinions are her own and do not reflect those of EPL, SLJ, or any of the other acronyms you might be able to name. Follow her on Twitter: @fuseeight.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Jules, 7-Imp says

    January 22, 2008 at 7:43 am

    Chronicle Books also released You Think It’s Easy Being the Tooth Fairy? with illustrations from David Slonim. We can add that to your Odd Trends category.

    That poor lady *is* probably fairly overlooked in general, wouldn’t you say?

  2. Laurie says

    January 22, 2008 at 8:57 pm

    Gennifer Choldenko’s Al Capone began with bird turd. She has her own trend!

  3. lisa c. says

    January 23, 2008 at 1:55 pm

    I <3 the Golden Fuse Awards! Thanks for the addendum.

  4. Erica Verrillo says

    October 31, 2008 at 7:53 am

    From Elissa’s Quest by Erica Verrillo –
    “The birds will talk, and the earth will churn. The trees will walk, and the world will burn.”

    Did I say that?

  5. Fuse #8 says

    October 31, 2008 at 9:34 am

    Zut. You did at one time. Did that appear in the ARC but not the final copy? I always forget to compare the two.

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